THE ESTRANGEMENT OF MY DERANGEMENT

*
My soul almost died in those days of shame,
It came close to death on so many occasions
Its survival is a miracle to me
One I never quite comprehended.
*
I was always the stranger in a strange land
The new boy that never stayed long enough
To be humiliated into submission,
Or assimilated into admission.
*
I refused to bend under the weight,
Or to snap under the strain.
But the price for my personal state of isolation
Was the capitulation of my soul.
*
The battles were many and the victories few
Towns, cities, states, and counties,
Like a carousel of hate and humiliation
Came and went and tore at the heart of my soul.
*
As the years passed and the body hardened
My one determined goal never strayed off course.
The body may bleed, the heart may cry,
But my soul will never be lost.
*
I swore allegiance to that battered soul
Took an oath and professed forever on
Whatever this world had in store,
I would not change to save myself from hurt
*
So here I am, battered and bruised.
Among my raddled but still noble anamnesis
With elysian pride and a peaceful heart
I watch at last, the renaissance of my soul.

By Shadowjo
Source: Shadowlands
30 June 2014